Things v. experiences. I read somewhere over the weekend that people feel that folks who talk about the things they buy come across as self centered whereas people who talk about experiences do not.
I wonder if that is true.
I would say by reading the SA blogs, it is. The folks who blog about experiences often talk about doing for others whether it is family or donating to the food bank – they look beyond themselves.
Very few blog about things, and if they do, it is matter of fact, not a brag fest.
I do know a friend who is totally tied up in the acquisition of things. He is not happy unless he is pursuing the purchase of something or purchasing something. And then the bragging begins. He makes decent money, but because of his spending habits, has had to refinance the house so he could vacation. While he was waiting for the refinancing, he was very irritable to be around because he felt he didn’t have any money to spend. It has become more and more difficult to talk to him because unless he has something to brag about, he doesn’t have much to talk about. I would say he’s pretty self-centered. I think he’s trying to fill a void in his life by filling it up with things. His idea of a vacation is going shopping. My idea of a vacation is relaxing and seeing things.
Most of the people I do enjoy time with talk about experiences and things they saw and we either learn or laugh. It’s a give and take relationship. We enjoy each other’s company and seem to never run out of things to talk about.
So, what is your take on this? Would you concur that folks who talk about things all the time come across as self-centered?
Things v. experiences
June 29th, 2010 at 03:44 pm
June 29th, 2010 at 04:01 pm 1277823689
June 29th, 2010 at 04:16 pm 1277824572
I get rather contrary in these debates because I know too many "experience snobs." They can be pretty obnoxious. I rather hang around people who enjoy the simplicities of life. Material-wise or experience-wise.
June 29th, 2010 at 04:20 pm 1277824824
June 29th, 2010 at 06:38 pm 1277833126
I think your friend's perspective on things (or it could have been experiences as well) leans towards the negative and self-centered side. There is simply no reason to have to approach things or experiences as some form of compensation or perhaps even entitlement.
As such, I also think you may be on to something about things filling a certain void in his life.
While I could sympathize with him, that kind of behavior would also irritate me eventually. Were I in your shoes, I don't think I could be friends with someone like that for long....
June 29th, 2010 at 07:08 pm 1277834925
June 29th, 2010 at 08:39 pm 1277840396
June 30th, 2010 at 12:41 am 1277854891
Funnily enough DF is sort of a 'things' person. Not anywhere near what some people are, but still. I'm happy to have something and use it until it breaks, whereas DF wants the better things, newer things etc. And DF loves to look through catalogues and go 'we should get this, we should buy this, look at this', and I am much more happy to NOT know about it. It makes my mind hurt thinking of all the things that are constantly developed just so we will buy them.
@ retire@50: possibly the girl is at a stage where her parents are teaching her about money and the cost of things. sometimes kids don't think about how things sound to other people. while I probably would have been taken aback as well, if it is the case that she is just learning about that, it's probably a good thing.
June 30th, 2010 at 01:09 am 1277856598
Ima, I believe you are right...I bet I read it on the yahoo site.