It was on a hot Friday,June 15th evening 22 years ago DH and I said, "I do." And we did!
Today is our anniversary. We married on a Friday night because it was more convenient, and very reasonable.
We decided that instead of paying for a lavish wedding, we would go on a nice honeymoon and have money for a downpayment on a house.
We wore clothing that we we already had. We married in DH's mom's backyard under gigantic oak trees, and then had a small cake and punch reception at a small community center. We stayed the night in the house we had purchased -- our first night together because we had not moved into together prior to the wedding.
Do I regret not having the white dress and large wedding? Not really. The people who mattered the most came to the reception -- the wedding was just immediate family. I think most girls dream of the lovely dress and fancy stuff, but in the greater scheme of things, I preferred spending money on paint and curtains. Those things I saw every day.
I asked DH if he would do it all over again and he said, "Yes!"
Twenty Two Years Ago
June 15th, 2012 at 03:35 pm
June 15th, 2012 at 04:09 pm 1339776555
Calls to mind a TV show ("Chopped" -- a cooking contest) where one of the contestants was determined to win because, as she said, she and her fiance really wanted to get married but couldn't afford to.
She brought it up so many times and was so sad when she was eliminated. I found it much sadder that she'd postpone being married -- if indeed being married was the goal as she stated -- just because she couldn't afford a "traditional" (you know what I mean) wedding. (I assume that's what she meant -- a marriage license can't be THAT expensive!)
Because my marriage had to be done within 90 days of my husband moving to the U.S. on a fiance visa, and because we didn't want to wait a second longer than we had to -- we planned and carried out our wedding in a little over a month. Cost a couple thousand, and could have cost much less if we'd had to scrimp.
June 15th, 2012 at 04:15 pm 1339776913
Congratulations on you anniversary!
June 15th, 2012 at 04:17 pm 1339777026
I had a traditional wedding and I don't regret it. It was an amazing day with friends and family, and I really love looking at all the pictures of my husband and me, and that beautiful dress. That said, I spend about 1/3 or less of what my friends spent at the time. So I think it was a good compromise. We had brunch, not dinner. Two classical musicians, not a band. My parents paid for most of it because they wanted to, and I was very careful with their money. I wanted a fancy but not expensive party.
As we've all discussed so many times on these blogs, it's all about making choices that are responsible and right for each of us!
We were married in 1990, also, but in April. Hope you have a wonderful celebration!
June 15th, 2012 at 04:30 pm 1339777848
I preferred to elope but compromised with small wedding.
The bare minimum expected for weddings today is ridiculous! Our wedding was a grandiose affair compared to parents and slightly older friends. Extremely modest by today's standards. 45yo coworker was just commenting how far weddings have gone since she married. 1990? I didn't realize it had changed so quickly.
June 15th, 2012 at 04:41 pm 1339778476
June 16th, 2012 at 01:08 am 1339808889
I must be a wierdo, but I never wanted the dress or the big wedding or any of that stuff...it actually was a deterrent in my mind to getting married, but that's becus i'm an introvert.
Eloping sounds good and so does a small family thing in somebody's backyard. I'd rather use the money for a great trip somewhere.
June 16th, 2012 at 02:10 am 1339812619
I think DH and I spent about $3000 out of pocket on our wedding. $2000 of that was for photos, which I never ever would have skimped on and I am glad I did not. I got videos from the library that taught me how to make my own silk flower bouquets and arrangements (cost about $100) and how to make pew bows. I made all my own favors by cutting tulle off a roll I bought, putting bulk jelly beans in, and wrapping them with ribbon I cut from another roll. We got a white "silver anniversary" cake instead of a wedding cake with an extra large sheet cake decorated in the same style. We just had punch, coffee, tea, nuts and mints at the reception. We timed our wedding and reception so that it would be after people had eaten lunch but before they would eat dinner. My veil cost $100 and was really the only thing I feel like I splurged on besides the photos. The minister cost $50. The marriage license cost $25, I think.
My BIL also video taped the wedding for free as his gift to us. My dress was my parent's gift ($500) and my husband's parents paid for the church rental which included the use of the reception hall and all of the dishes, linens, napkins, etc. It also included the church's wedding planner (who did nothing other than monitor it because I wanted to do it all myself) and the church ladies to wash and clean up the reception hall afterward. It was $350. My sister's gift to me was the jewelry I wore.
I purchased the fabric for my bridesmaids dresses and Mom sewed the dresses. My husband paid for the tuxes for himself and his groomsmen. It looked like a big, expensive wedding, but it really wasn't. Everyone thought it was just beautiful.
June 16th, 2012 at 03:38 am 1339817919
July 6th, 2012 at 03:20 am 1341544832
Sometimes during the reception audience members are asked to give advice. I always throw my 2 cents in: The wedding is the means, the marriage is the goal. Never confuse the two.