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Some Thoughts on American Housewife

November 21st, 2016 at 12:10 am

ABC has a show this season called American Housewife. Not sure if you have watched it, but each episode makes me like this character so much more. Basically, she is a slightly overweight normal gal who loves her family, but feels inadequate because most of the women in this fancy neighborhood are stick thin, exercise constantly, and are basically snobbish.

I think this program sort of mirrors society to a certain extent. Unless you, as a woman, are drop dead gorgeous, stick thin, and travel with the in crowd, you basically feel left out.

I've always been overweight. Well, I take that back, I was born underweight, but that didn't last long. Smile I've dieted and exercised and I have lost weight, gained it back, lost it, gained it back, and gotten frustrated. At one point in my life when I was a lot younger I ate one meal a day and exercised faithfully. I did lose quite a bit of weight, but I never was stick thin. Of course when I started eating regular meals again, I gained it all again.

Being an overweight woman isn't fun. When the program "What Not to Wear" was on, I always understood when the heavier gals would go shopping and burst into tears because they couldn't find things that fit or made them look decent. I have had that issue most of my life. Shopping in the plus section is often an insult because it is usually tucked into a basement or upstairs which just adds to the shame. Most of the stuff out there is just plain butt ugly. I'm overweight, I don't need even bigger patterns to accent that fact. So, I can either go for the potato sack fit which is no fit, or have stuff that is so darn tight I'm afraid to move so it doesn't rip out a seam. Most of the stuff in my closet has some age to it because I lucked into something and am keeping it, stylish and trendy or not.

A number of years ago a group of us from my district went to present at an educational conference. One of the women was short and stout and was an expert in her field. When the two ladies before her spoke briefly, they had the audience's attention. When my heavier friend spoke, people quit listening. They judged her not on the merit of her words, but how she looked. She wasn't sloppy or dirty. She was overweight and therefore most of the audience didn't give her the time of day. She had on nice clothes and her hair and make up were well done.

I struggle with my own self esteem, but I have decided I'm going to try and look at things differently. Perhaps if I walk in with a confident stride and pretend I'm decent looking, maybe I'll feel better about myself, even if others still judge me.

It would be so nice if we didn't judge people so much on how they look. The biggest share of my dearest friends are not model beautiful. Their beauty lies in their character. The folks who know me best kid me about what attracts me to a man. Muscles? Nah! Height? Nope. I've always had a weakness for guys in glasses. I think it is because I'm drawn to men of intelligence. DH says I don't suffer fools gladly so perhaps that is my prejudice.

So, as I watch the American Housewife, it makes me look at things a little differently. Have I become an education snob? I sure hope not. I hope I have not made someone uncomfortable because of how they speak or act or look. I am going to watch myself more closely. I don't like being discriminated against because of my weight so I needn't discriminate against someone because of something they do or say or are just because it is different from me.

8 Responses to “Some Thoughts on American Housewife”

  1. PatientSaver Says:

    I have read that if you project an aura of confidence, you will gradually really become confident. So fake it first, and the feeling you want will come with time.

    If you're looking for stylish clothes in your size, I would skip Kohls and try Macys.

  2. rob62521 Says:

    Hi, PatientSaver! I wish we had a Macy's in our town, but we do not. The next time I go someplace where they have one, I will most certainly take your suggestion to shop there. I hope I can, as you wrote, "project an aura of confidence." Thanks!

  3. laura Says:


    Every walk of life has its challenges, in my opinion. My daughter is 18 and 14 months into a modeling career that has become fairly successful (took her 375 days signing her first contract to her first editorial in an international magazine). We raised her to be polite and have manners and have always said it is most important to be nice and kind. It is very nice to hear that people (photographers, designers, and make up artists) want to work with her again because she isn't stuck up nor a prima donna, she can converse with people and is polite. I think its awful that prejudices of any sort exist. And my daughter graduated with above a 4.0 GPA missing two months of school. She also won a prestigious service award as one who volunteered over 300 hours to services and organizations in her high school career. I am totally proud of her. Books shouldn't be judged by their covers.

  4. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    I find the show hilarious. I find myself heavier than ever and I hate it. I hate how i feel. I am working out more than ever but the weight isn't coming off. I probably need to go get a full check up to find out what's going on.

  5. Carol Says:

    Your comments are very thoughtful. The most charismatic person I ever knew did not have great looks, but boy, I enjoyed being around her! There's a saying about not comparing your insides to some one else's outsides. It can be comforting to remind oneself of that.

  6. rob62521 Says:

    Laura, it sounds like your daughter is the full deal! How super!

    LivingAlmostLarge, I sure hope you are OK.

    Carol, good point -- the person you mention must be very special to you.

  7. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I'm a full-sized gal myself constantly struggling with my weight. I do think there is a very real prejudice against people of size. My DH experiences it even more than I do - he's super intelligent (mensa level IQ) but many people judge him first by his size - and this knowledge/feeling of judgement has held him back a lot in life. I wish it were as easy as pretending confidence til you have it ...

  8. rob62521 Says:

    I'm sorry your husband has had to deal with this as well as you. I can't say having confidence is easy...I struggle each day, FrugalTexan.

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