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Fed Up

January 9th, 2018 at 04:02 pm

Apparently I am naive.

Years ago I joined Facebook and have derived a lot of pleasure in keeping up with friends on the site. But in the past couple of years it has become a major issue.

I'm all for capitalism. As for a side hustle...I am glad folks have the time an energy to do this. But, when people "friend" me just to try and sell me something, it is getting to be abusive.

One person has deemed herself a travel agent. She created a group, and then starts sending all these "offers." I have no desire to go to the Bahamas. I left the group and she added me again.

One person was a friend of my husband's from high school. Not a close friend by any means. Saw him at the last reunion. He asked to be friends on Facebook. I have quite a few of the folks from my husband's class as my Facebook friends since he doesn't do computers or social media. But this guy was relentless. He is a travel agent on the east coast and I would get messages on my timeline and private messages telling me how he could plan this trip and that. I tried to be nice and say I'd let him know when I wanted him to plan a trip. He wouldn't let up. I finally said I appreciate his willingness to help us plan a trip, but we have a local travel agent and would prefer sticking with her if we want to plan a trip since we have worked with her before. Sheesh.

Now it is all the make up, leggings, lipstick, bags, and cooking stuff. I have major allergies. I wear little makeup. I buy stuff that doesn't make me react too much when I do wear it. I don't wear leggings. I have more than enough bags -- I was a teacher -- I have book bags that my husband purchased for me as gifts (Mary Englebreit) and I'm not going to buy a new bag. I use what I have. My favorite is the cooking stuff. Since I cook, I should participate in their parties and buy more stuff. My kitchen is already loaded. If they only knew. I'm not going to buy some gadget that I don't need or want just so they win something.

So, last night, I had had it. A gal I knew asked to be friends on Facebook and then when I accepted, she immediately put me in a group and started the hard sell for make up. I posted on Facebook that the reason I joined Facebook was to keep up with my real life friends. I'm all for capitalism and if they put something on the general feed, I will read it and if I'm interested, I will privately message them. But I'm an adult. I don't need a hard sell. I don't need someone to constantly try and get me to buy something. That's why I have refused for years to go to these parties to have the pressure to buy something I either don't want or need. And I ended it with if the only reason you have friended me was to add to your customer base, to please unfriend me and do us both a favor. I wonder how many will unfriend me. At this point, I'm so fed up, I don't care. Interestedly enough one of my real friends messaged me and said I said what so many people are thinking but don't have the courage to say. Lots of comments went along with what I posted. So, I must not be alone in this thinking. I went into my groups and took myself out of all their sales groups. Facebook now has a feature where you can click so they can't put you back in.

Sorry for the lengthy post, I just needed to really vent.

11 Responses to “Fed Up”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    I say it all the time. Facebook is weird. And I use it alot! It's really is okay to unfollow someone you don't want to stay in contact with. Or ignore messages, ect!

  2. CB in the City Says:

    I am no fan of Facebook and I use it barely at all. I wouldn't be sad if all the people who are abusing it turned EVERYONE off, and we could go back to real, personal, private communication. Of course, I'm old. Smile

  3. rob62521 Says:

    Nah, CB, not old. You have a point...so many use social media instead of having real conversations. Most of the folks I communicate with are people I don't see often because they live out of town, out of state, etc. and it helps me keep up with them since hardly anyone writes letters anymore.

    CCF -- you are so right. Facebook is weird and I think people lose all sorts of inhibitions when on it.

  4. Sallyr70 Says:

    Good for you! I don't have anybody hounding me personally, thank goodness, but I see a lot of MLM ads on the community pages. I get that they are trying to hustle and make money, but there's so many more stupid businesses these days (thanks to social media, I suppose.)

  5. starfishy Says:

    sorry to hear this rob - you have some weird FB friends! I haven't had the experience of people trying to sell stuff to me or adding me to random groups. and you can "sleep" people now or unfollow them without unfriending, so that you don't see any of their posts. i do that for people who like to post every five seconds, esp about topics that i'm not interested in. and that's great that you found a feature to leave the groups permanently. i didn't realize people could even form groups an add others without consent. strange! just clean it up to see only those people you really care about and hopefully it will be a better experience for you. Smile

  6. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I've had that happen to me before- someone add me to a mlm group without asking. Flooded my email ... I took myself out twice, then finally had to unfollow the person. So annoying.

  7. PatientSaver Says:

    I don't think these people are really friends, because real friends wouldn't hound you with the pitches you describe. You can easily unfriend someone (more than once, if need be) and that puts an end to that.

    When you're in financial services, and likely any kind of sales environment, you're taught to reach out for new customers by turning to those you know: friends and family. That's probably why they're doing it, because some people get business from others who simply prefer to do business with someone they know. To me, that criteria would not be enough.

  8. Kymberlee Fisher Says:




    You do have the option to block people on Facebook.


  9. LuckyRobin Says:

    I got all my Tupperware in 1996. I got all my Pampered Chef in 2004. I actually wouldn't mind finding a Party Lite person as I did like their candles, but I'm not going to go to a party for it, and I'd only get a box of tea lights anyway as the big ones make a mess. I'm not going to buy clothes or lingerie that I can't try on first, and I don't want to order and send it back if it doesn't fit or I don't like it. Not going to happen as I hate going to the post office.

    Once a month I make a post to my own timeline about the product I sell and say that if anyone wants to get in touch with me about it to do so, I'd be happy to talk to them and let them try it without a party, because I don't want to do parties as I'm an introvert in real life. I have not hard sold once, because I hate it being done to me. I figure if I put up the link someone will click on it if they want to. Same on the blog, I will mention it from time to time and add the link or say it is in my sidebar. If people want to do it, cool. If not, that's cool, too. More folks need to be laid back about it. But then I'm not trying to do mine as an income, so maybe that makes the difference? Or maybe it's the introvert thing and that I don't like to make people uncomfortable.

  10. rob62521 Says:

    PS, you are right. I don't think they are real friends. I get they want to expand their base and I said in my Facebook post if they just post something chances are I will read it and if it interests me, I will private message them. But the hard sell? One of these even private messaged me and asked what kind of bag I had for my knitting because she had the perfect one. I reminded her I was a retired teacher and had quite a few book bags and that's why I used.

    KF -- That's true. I could block them.

    LR-- I have no problem of a product being mention on a Facebook post. I get that. It's just the putting me in a group and then constantly sending stuff. I'm like you, I'm an introvert and parties don't thrill me either. Most of these people aren't depending on this as their income, just as a side line.

    Thank you everyone who commented!

  11. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    I put them on the ignore list (still friends). I don't bother too much. And I happily unfriend anyone with that sort of agenda. I LOVE seeing my friends photos of kids but I am not about to buy anything if possible.

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