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Sparkling Spam...

December 24th, 2013 at 03:45 pm

It's Christmas Eve and I'm doing yet another breathing treatment before I change clothes for Christmas Eve services.

So, to amuse myself, I decided to open the spam folder. Talk about surprises!

I can meet my love match on match.com! Hmmm. Bet my current love match who is cleaning up after supper would be surprised! Not that I'm looking...don't get me wrong. (BTW, DH cleans up after supper...I do all the cooking. Yes, I know, I am very blessed!) EHarmony is so excited they sent me two emails within an hour. I am a very popular person for never having visited either site!

I can keep my penis size forever or so the email says. Golly, that is something I've always wanted...not. I'm female and I don't have penis envy. There's another company with the same sort of offer. Talk about barking up the wrong tree...

My scholarship application is being processed. Even better! I've been out of college over 30 years. Wonder if it is retroactive to then? Imagine the interest on that money...bet I can get my Ph.D.!

There's a KIA clearance going on just for me. Land o'goshen...they apparently don't know me well. Personally, I try not to buy foreign made cars...long story, but my dad drilled in me to buy American. There's also an extend my auto warranty one...is that on my current vehicle or the new Kia?

Two emails from the same company about a platinum credit card...Wow, they really must want me own one. I have two credit cards and that's enough for me at this point. But wait...there's more! Someone is willing to loan me $2500 quickly...might need that if I get that credit card and use it for extension stuff.

Someone is offering me a special Kohls card...I am a popular gal...over 30 spam in one day, and here's another jewel...I can learn a foreign language in ten days. No offense, but I'm having problems remembering English...ask any teacher and we constantly question our own spelling and grammar because both have been butchered so much by students.

Well, I'm gratified to know I'm such a well rounded popular individual...it is always nice to be wanted.

My breathing treatment is over so it's time to get ready for the real stuff. But, thought I'd add a little levity.

Merry Christmas!

5 Responses to “Sparkling Spam...”

  1. scfr Says:

    Merry Christmas!
    P.S. - If you will help me transfer $25million that I inherited from a wealthy overseas aunt in to the USA, I will be most obliged and will give you 10% of the proceeds. In order to get started, I just need you to please do a small test transfer to my bank account in Nigeria ...

  2. rob62521 Says:

    Gosh, what a generous offer, scfr! :-)

  3. twest Says:

    Great Post! Thanks for the laugh.

  4. Thrifty Ray Says:

    lol...now THAT is the funniest breathing treatment Ive ever sat through. Thanks for a great chuckle tonight!

  5. rob62521 Says:

    I am a strange, strange woman! :-)

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