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Complaining is easier than changing

December 30th, 2012 at 09:30 pm

Ever notice that some folks complain about this and that and ask for suggestions, but when offered possible solutions, prefer complaining instead of changing?

One friend complains all the time about not having enough money. Yet, she and her spouse smoke, drink, and do not plan for anything. With Christmas coming up instead of hitting the grocery store when the paycheck came, they didn't. Christmas Day came she and she wondered what store was open since they had invited a sibling over for dinner. Each Christmas is a stress because they don't have the money she wishes she had and although I have suggested she open a Christmas Club so they would have something saved, she informed me that is old fashioned, and unnecessary. Often they are out of money before the next paycheck comes in. Any suggestions that have been made on saving money is argued that she already knows how to live with little money. Yet, about every other week is another complaint of being broke.

Another person I know complains about having little money and how the house payments are killing them. When I hinted that we save money by not eating out as much and cutting our spending a snarky remark was made that DH and I have plenty of money. If I came out and said point blank that they should curtail their spending, it would result in hateful words. So, the complaints go on.

Another couple we know eat out at least once a day. Spending is fast and furious, yet there is a gripe that there isn't enough money and a bigger home equity loan is sought.

And yet another couple complains about not having enough money. They too eat out all the time. Every single thing is put on credit cards and we are ridiculed because when we do go out, DH pays with cash. Don't get me wrong, we use credit cards for certain things, but they are paid off each month. These folks are always talking about how they are broke.

One thing these folks all have in common besides the obvious of not having enough money is they are big complainers and instead of taking measures to try and alleviate some spending, they gleefully spend and then gripe. Guess it takes less effort to complain than actually do. I guess this makes me sound kind of cruel, but after awhile, it gets tiresome. I no longer give advice if asked because it is a waste of time.

8 Responses to “Complaining is easier than changing”

  1. Suzanne Says:
    1356904242

    Have you ever heard that expression that some people are not happy unless they have something to complain about? I've found it's true!

  2. rob62521 Says:
    1356907898

    I think you pegged it, Suzanne!

  3. Amber Says:
    1356908604

    I am guilty but I do understand. Habits like addictions are hard to break, until your friend is ready s/he will not change. I find myself complaining about things that I've been wanting to change and received great advice, I guess I'm not ready.

  4. Jerry Says:
    1356910946

    I think that there are actually more people who are willing to complain about things, than there are people who are willing to actually do something that could lead to an improvement in their situation. Your friends' actions seem to bear that out. I know plenty of people who can think of a million reasons why something will not work to improve their situation, rather than actually having some insurance that they have even tried anything at all. (It can be draining to listen to those complaints, too, after a while...)
    Jerry

  5. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
    1356911785

    I wonder in particular about what is going to happen to people like that when they can no longer work. If they haven't saved more than they have spent, then how will they survive? Really, I worry.

  6. EarlyRetirementJoy Says:
    1356913107

    I've read before that complaining is a way to release stress, enabling the complainer to continue to delay actually effecting change. Perhaps the kindest thing we can do is to not allow them to complain, but rather redirect them back to what they think they need to change.

  7. creditcardfree Says:
    1356917105

    Yep, I've heard the complaints...and they are not always financially related either!

  8. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    1356923922

    Sometimes it's easier to complain about something than to make a change. Status Quo is safe - you know what to expect. Change is scary - who knows what might happen?

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