Fair warning...this is a bit of a rant.

We have grandchildren. Twenty five percent of said grandchildren thank us for Christmas, birthday, and whatever gifts whether it be graduation or something else. The others do not. 

Let me give a few details. For graduation, they get a sizeable check and usually another gift like an engraved pen or something like that. And when I say sizeable, I'm not talking a few dollars. For birthdays they get another sizeable check, a card, and if we don't get to see them, a text or phone call to wish them a happy birthday. For Christmas they get a sizeable check and some other gifts besides. We are not cheap. At Christmas we see all of them and as I said 25% says thank you. The others open their gifts and never say a word, but those checks are cashed immediately. They don't all have the same parents. The 25% comes from a different household. 

Anyway, in the past year we've given graduation gifts and birthday gifts and one is eight hours away at college so we sent a care package. As for the care package, we heard nothing until I texted and asked if they received it and got, "Got it. Thanks." I'm figuring if I hadn't texted (this one lives in a dorm, so I was hoping that it didn't get taken by mistake, or lost) that we probably wouldn't have heard anything.

I don't expect a written thank you card or note on paper with a stamp. I nice text, email, or phone call would suffice. I'm sort of wondering if the extra generosity through the years had created a sense of expectation without the prospect of gratitude. 

I know Ann Landers (Yeah, I'm dating myself here) and other advice columnists say to quit giving. But I'm not even sure if that would make a difference; would they even put two and two together and realize the lack of gratitude led to this or would I be blamed for changing something a few years into our marriage? We don't want to cut them out of our lives, we just would like to feel a little bit of appreciation. 

I realize I grew up in a different time. I still write thank you notes. I remember as a little girl always thanking people, even for what would be considered a little thing. I guess the sad thing is we saw a video of one of the grandchildren getting a small gift from another relative and that person was thanked over and over. So, I think it is in their vocabulary. I hestiate to say anything because I don't want to be the bad guy. So, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place.

Thanks for letting me rant.